I lost the majority of my teeth when I was in 5th and 6th grade. Sure, I lost my first in kindergarten, and I had the whole front-tooth gap when I was seven or eight, but the rest of them took their sweet time (no pun intended, especially since if it were intended it would be a really lame pun). I remember this not only because I vividly recall having to ask Mr Knapik if I could be excused from class to get a drink of water and rinse out my mouth on several occasions, but also because when tithing settlement came around the next year I had a lot more money than usual. Bishop Baird asked me how I earned so much money, and I replied "I lost a lot of teeth."
Not that
My brother and sisters have all had their wisdom teeth out long ago. Well, Dot's came out just a year or two back, I think. Kate had hers out way back when she was living in the dorms at BYU and dating this HORRIBLY ugly guy named Nate (he was almost completely bald with a big lumpy nose and googly eyes. Believe me, I was relieved when Kate finally met Danny; Jane, you almost missed out on the cute gene). I remember this because Kate punched him in the face when she was high on painkillers- HAH! I don't remember when Joe got his out, but I think he was first.
I still haven't had mine removed, and guess what?? It's coming back to haunt me! Think, if you will, of the absolute WORST time for my wisdom teeth to come in. I'd say right about now; I'm in my third trimester of pregnancy, I graduate from college in two weeks, I work 40 hour weeks, my sister's getting married in three weeks at which point I will be traveling across the country, I have a baby shower scheduled on the same trip as well as one in a couple weeks when I graduate, I have to take a final exam for my french incomplete, and I have no dental insurance and no money. Oh, did I mention that I'm PREGNANT??
I can't have a swollen face because so many people are going to be taking my picture soon! Can you imagine being immortalized in wedding albums and scrapbook pages and graduation photos and family newsletters with a lump the size of a grapefruit on your face?????? Golly, my belly is swollen enough, do my cheeks have to join in, too? And how am I supposed to get my wisdom teeth out without an anesthetic? Don't tell me that the pain will help prepare me for childbirth because I seriously don't want to hear it.
Maybe I can just wait until afterward. Yech. I don't like that idea either. Maybe the pain will magically disappear for five months. Only one of my wisdom teeth hurt. The other three aren't even coming in yet. Here's a picture I drew of the sordid situation:
Don't ask me how long it took me to draw this. I refuse to answer that question. Also please don't comment on how ugly my mouth is. I happen to know that very few people have gorgeous mouths when viewed from this perspective.
**Note** My teeth are sadly not this white in real life.
I lost my wisdom teeth on my mission. I'm not sure why they weren't removed before, but I guess we forgot to do it. In any case, an LDS dentist in the region did them for free (he does a lot of wisdom teeth for missionaries too poor to have them removed before the mission, it's his way of giving back). The sedative the first time made me REALLY loopy, and I did a lot of embarrassing things which I won't recount here, but vicodin had absolutely no effect on me, at least in terms of loopiness.
ReplyDeleteThe second one came out real easy, even without a sedative, and was almost completely painless even after it had been removed. We stayed in the apartment the evening of the p-day when I had it removed, but the next day I was operating like normal. In fact, I went off the vicodin before the end of the next week because there just wasn't any pain to justify taking them (and besides, I could resell it for like...um...er...).
Yeah.....I learned last pregnancy that vicotin doesn't make you high. So all that loopiness I experienced where I punched Nate in the face? That was totally just me. Weird.
ReplyDeleteAnd I take the cake and win at "last of the late bloomers": I had mine removed when Kate was a month old!!! So I was 27!!
ReplyDeleteI'm rooting for ya, darling!