So I took my last ever final exam today. I sent a witty email to my parents saying it was my "final final," and my mom responded that it was a final final finale. My dad responded with "Your final final- finally!" I told Mykle this because I figured he'd enjoy the puns more than I would, and he said "Finally! Your final final finale! But it still needs to be finalized!" *groan* This is the man I married. No wonder he and my dad (and Steve!) get along so well.
Now I've written the word 'final' so many times that it's weird to look at. Blech.
Know what I really really want for a graduation-slash-baby-shower present? Gift certificates to dream dinners. I have not been eating well in the past few weeks, mostly because of the whole wisdom tooth situation but also because I feel fatigued and lazy and don't even like to stand up, let alone go grocery shopping or cook. I feel really bad for Mykle, not to mention this freaking baby in my uterus.
Although I think the majority of my sympathy goes towards my husband. I admit it: I am harboring some resentment for this unborn child. He keeps on getting bigger which means I keep on getting fatter and more tired, with more stretch marks and less room in my bladder. I feel gross and ugly all the time and guess what?? I still have a month and a half left!! Which means I'm only going to get bigger and more exhausted!!
Obviously I'm not actually mad at the baby. Being third-trimester pregnant just sucks, even if you are low-risk and have had it easy up until now. Mostly I just feel guilty because I know I would feel and look better if I exercised more and ate better, but I haven't done those things. And I realize that it's not going to get any easier after the baby comes... HAH! No way! That's when the real work begins!
I just want my stupid body back... you know, the one I used to hate and complain about all the time? Come back to me!!! I won't complain about you anymore! At least, not much!
I am extremely psyched to graduate (haha, no pun intended) (oh suck, I'm turning into Mykle) and go to Dot's wedding and have these baby showers etc, but I am not looking forward to having my picture taken in this condition. Why couldn't Dot get married in August?? Doesn't she know that her life should revolve around me??
Blahh. Now this is getting just plain whiny. If you feel sorry for me, I do accept donations. If you don't, you might want to wait to read this blog until August or September... or actually, you could just save yourself the trouble and stop reading it altogether. I am not my sister Kate. She makes an effort not to complain on her blog. I figure, what's the point of a journal, online or private, if you have to put a positive spin on everything? My life is not Little Women or Anne of Green Gables. (Thank God; those books suck! They're like Aesop's fables written by the female speakers at General Conference!) I picture this blog as being more similar to craigslist's rants and raves section.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Advice
Here's some unsolicited wisdom for women thinking about trying to conceive in the near or distant future.
1: Get all wisdom teeth removed first!
2: Be at or near a healthy weight when you start, if possible. Losing weight is difficult, impractical, and generally a bad idea when you're pregnant.
3: Make sure you have health insurance that will pay for your maternity visits/delivery, or at least supplement you for it.
4: Have a car that works.
5: This one is key: Establish healthy eating and exercise habits LONG before you get pregnant. People (ahem, me) think that they will change their lifestyle when they get pregnant because they'll be conscious that all their actions affect another human being. This is true to the extent that I now take prenatal vitamins. It is not true to the extent that I exercise for 30 minutes 3-4 times per week. Believe me, if you don't develop the motivation to exercise and the discipline to eat nutritiously BEFORE you're pregnant, the chances are slim to none that any of that will change after you conceive. Because being pregnant = tired (no motivation to move, let alone exercise) and hungry (why eat broccoli when ice cream is so much easier and more delicious?).
This also goes for women with eating disorders/disordered eating. Getting pregnant will not just automatically alter your mindset so that suddenly you don't worry about every calorie you eat or every pound you gain. Bulimic women won't just quit purging and anorexic women won't start eating more because they have a baby inside them who will suffer if they don't. You can say "It's normal and healthy for me to gain weight right now," but that doesn't mean you'll look in the mirror and believe it.
I've been really blessed in my pregnancy to have a great support system to help me overcome the negative thoughts. The second trimester was the hardest in that respect, mostly because I was too big for my normal clothes but not shaped quite right for maternity clothes yet. It also helped to buy some maternity clothes for myself that were tailored to fit me specifically; Kate gave me a ton of maternity stuff, which was awesome, but a lot of it (read: all the pants) was made for someone a foot taller than I am (she shares this rotating wardrobe with her sisters-in-law who are all thin, gorgeous amazons), and there wasn't a lot of things that were "my style." Example: I don't like pink and I don't like neon blue and I don't like collared shirts and I don't like the full panel pants because they are WEIRD!! There were a lot of things that match one or more of those descriptions in this wardrobe.
It's kind of funny, because most of the stuff I really liked that Kate gave me were things that she couldn't and didn't ever wear because they were too small for her chest size. Hah! Oh, and Kate? Those maternity garments you gave me? AWESOME. Well, half awesome. The bottoms are terrible, a zillion times worse than full panel pants, but the tops are WONDERFUL. I love them. They are the only garment tops I have now that don't ride up over my big huge belly.
On a completely separate note, stretch marks SUCK. I've had them before, from when I was in CFC and had to gain a ton of weight back. It freaked me out then (I was like, "I can't have stretch marks! I'm not even pregnant!") and it still sucks now. Blech. Mykle thinks they'll go away after awhile, since I use lotion on them and this Mama Bee's belly balm stuff Dot got me for Christmas (love it!).
On an utterly completely separate note, here is a list of words that are really gross:
Paps (this is in the bible where Mykle and I have been reading, and I almost threw up when I read it)
Smear
Pap smear (seriously? You couldn't call it something else??)
Bag balm (I think they should just call this anti-chafing cream or something. Just because it is used primarily to rub on cows' udders doesn't mean you have to include that in the product name. It's gross.)
Masticate
Ringworm
Pustule
Secrete/secretion
Mucus plug
Sac
Episiotomy (mostly this one just sounds painful. Especially to me, right now.)
Wenis
Penile
Pubic
Bladder (for some reason I don't mind this one when discussing the human organ, but when it's used for other things, like a water bed bladder, it's just nasty!)
The squirts (this one is only gross when it has "the" before it)
Abcess
FRUIT!!!
1: Get all wisdom teeth removed first!
2: Be at or near a healthy weight when you start, if possible. Losing weight is difficult, impractical, and generally a bad idea when you're pregnant.
3: Make sure you have health insurance that will pay for your maternity visits/delivery, or at least supplement you for it.
4: Have a car that works.
5: This one is key: Establish healthy eating and exercise habits LONG before you get pregnant. People (ahem, me) think that they will change their lifestyle when they get pregnant because they'll be conscious that all their actions affect another human being. This is true to the extent that I now take prenatal vitamins. It is not true to the extent that I exercise for 30 minutes 3-4 times per week. Believe me, if you don't develop the motivation to exercise and the discipline to eat nutritiously BEFORE you're pregnant, the chances are slim to none that any of that will change after you conceive. Because being pregnant = tired (no motivation to move, let alone exercise) and hungry (why eat broccoli when ice cream is so much easier and more delicious?).
This also goes for women with eating disorders/disordered eating. Getting pregnant will not just automatically alter your mindset so that suddenly you don't worry about every calorie you eat or every pound you gain. Bulimic women won't just quit purging and anorexic women won't start eating more because they have a baby inside them who will suffer if they don't. You can say "It's normal and healthy for me to gain weight right now," but that doesn't mean you'll look in the mirror and believe it.
I've been really blessed in my pregnancy to have a great support system to help me overcome the negative thoughts. The second trimester was the hardest in that respect, mostly because I was too big for my normal clothes but not shaped quite right for maternity clothes yet. It also helped to buy some maternity clothes for myself that were tailored to fit me specifically; Kate gave me a ton of maternity stuff, which was awesome, but a lot of it (read: all the pants) was made for someone a foot taller than I am (she shares this rotating wardrobe with her sisters-in-law who are all thin, gorgeous amazons), and there wasn't a lot of things that were "my style." Example: I don't like pink and I don't like neon blue and I don't like collared shirts and I don't like the full panel pants because they are WEIRD!! There were a lot of things that match one or more of those descriptions in this wardrobe.
It's kind of funny, because most of the stuff I really liked that Kate gave me were things that she couldn't and didn't ever wear because they were too small for her chest size. Hah! Oh, and Kate? Those maternity garments you gave me? AWESOME. Well, half awesome. The bottoms are terrible, a zillion times worse than full panel pants, but the tops are WONDERFUL. I love them. They are the only garment tops I have now that don't ride up over my big huge belly.
On a completely separate note, stretch marks SUCK. I've had them before, from when I was in CFC and had to gain a ton of weight back. It freaked me out then (I was like, "I can't have stretch marks! I'm not even pregnant!") and it still sucks now. Blech. Mykle thinks they'll go away after awhile, since I use lotion on them and this Mama Bee's belly balm stuff Dot got me for Christmas (love it!).
On an utterly completely separate note, here is a list of words that are really gross:
Paps (this is in the bible where Mykle and I have been reading, and I almost threw up when I read it)
Smear
Pap smear (seriously? You couldn't call it something else??)
Bag balm (I think they should just call this anti-chafing cream or something. Just because it is used primarily to rub on cows' udders doesn't mean you have to include that in the product name. It's gross.)
Masticate
Ringworm
Pustule
Secrete/secretion
Mucus plug
Sac
Episiotomy (mostly this one just sounds painful. Especially to me, right now.)
Wenis
Penile
Pubic
Bladder (for some reason I don't mind this one when discussing the human organ, but when it's used for other things, like a water bed bladder, it's just nasty!)
The squirts (this one is only gross when it has "the" before it)
Abcess
FRUIT!!!
Saturday, April 23, 2011
This is why
There are two main reasons why you should never, ever EVER get your wisdom teeth removed while you are pregnant.
Number 1: They won't knock you out so you are awake for the entire procedure. Sure, you can't feel anything with the local anesthetic, but it's creepy and traumatizing to have two people digging and yanking and slicing in your mouth while you just sit there and watch. I just kept thinking "I hope this isn't what it's like when I have to give birth!"
And don't tell me that giving birth is different because you have all that going PLUS you can feel it. I know it's true, but don't tell me about it. I'm planning on staying in denial about labor pains for as long as possible, read: after the baby is born.
Number 2: Never get your wisdom teeth removed when you are pregnant, because it is just plain ridiculous for an expectant mother to be put on an all-liquid diet. Seriously. You think you have to pee every five minutes normally? Try eating nothing but soup and ice cream and you'll see how easy you had it before. I literally have to get up out of bed once every hour at night to use the bathroom. SUCK.
Those are the main two reasons. I mean, I'd like to say that a major drawback is the fact that your face feels like it's going to fall off because it hurts so much, but that's pretty much true whether or not you're pregnant. Of course, it doesn't help my already fragile self-esteem to have a swollen face in addition to a swollen everything-else, but I actually can't complain much because it's not really that noticeable except to me.
I feel kinda guilty that baby is missing out on a lot of nutrition what with all the ice cream I've been eating, but whatever. Not guilty enough to cook something better.
By the way, my little sister recently started a blog, and it is absolutely hilarious! I love it! I like reading Kate's blog because she posts pictures of Jane and Dan, and she's always referencing our inside jokes. Also, she has some really interesting and (occasionally) controversial opinions, and she keeps me updated on news that I might miss otherwise. I don't know if Dot's blog is going to be similar at all, but it is super fun to read. She has this natural writing talent that makes her ideas flow and resonate while simultaneously entertaining the reader. I hope she writes more about how and why she decided to investigate rawism; I know nothing about it and I'd like to learn more from someone who actually practices it, but who I trust. So many health nuts are just weird and crazy, and it's hard to find one who will just give it to you straight.
By the way, I think I should just add in here that I will never go raw. Ever. So don't even bother trying to convert me, crazy weird health nuts who are (most likely not) reading this.
Number 1: They won't knock you out so you are awake for the entire procedure. Sure, you can't feel anything with the local anesthetic, but it's creepy and traumatizing to have two people digging and yanking and slicing in your mouth while you just sit there and watch. I just kept thinking "I hope this isn't what it's like when I have to give birth!"
And don't tell me that giving birth is different because you have all that going PLUS you can feel it. I know it's true, but don't tell me about it. I'm planning on staying in denial about labor pains for as long as possible, read: after the baby is born.
Number 2: Never get your wisdom teeth removed when you are pregnant, because it is just plain ridiculous for an expectant mother to be put on an all-liquid diet. Seriously. You think you have to pee every five minutes normally? Try eating nothing but soup and ice cream and you'll see how easy you had it before. I literally have to get up out of bed once every hour at night to use the bathroom. SUCK.
Those are the main two reasons. I mean, I'd like to say that a major drawback is the fact that your face feels like it's going to fall off because it hurts so much, but that's pretty much true whether or not you're pregnant. Of course, it doesn't help my already fragile self-esteem to have a swollen face in addition to a swollen everything-else, but I actually can't complain much because it's not really that noticeable except to me.
I feel kinda guilty that baby is missing out on a lot of nutrition what with all the ice cream I've been eating, but whatever. Not guilty enough to cook something better.
By the way, my little sister recently started a blog, and it is absolutely hilarious! I love it! I like reading Kate's blog because she posts pictures of Jane and Dan, and she's always referencing our inside jokes. Also, she has some really interesting and (occasionally) controversial opinions, and she keeps me updated on news that I might miss otherwise. I don't know if Dot's blog is going to be similar at all, but it is super fun to read. She has this natural writing talent that makes her ideas flow and resonate while simultaneously entertaining the reader. I hope she writes more about how and why she decided to investigate rawism; I know nothing about it and I'd like to learn more from someone who actually practices it, but who I trust. So many health nuts are just weird and crazy, and it's hard to find one who will just give it to you straight.
By the way, I think I should just add in here that I will never go raw. Ever. So don't even bother trying to convert me, crazy weird health nuts who are (most likely not) reading this.
Friday, April 15, 2011
Wisdom Teeth
I've always been a late bloomer. I was the smallest in our family (not anymore! at least, not with this baby!!), the last to develop and hit all the puberty milestones. This has been especially true when it comes to my teeth.
I lost the majority of my teeth when I was in 5th and 6th grade. Sure, I lost my first in kindergarten, and I had the whole front-tooth gap when I was seven or eight, but the rest of them took their sweet time (no pun intended, especially since if it were intended it would be a really lame pun). I remember this not only because I vividly recall having to ask Mr Knapik if I could be excused from class to get a drink of water and rinse out my mouth on several occasions, but also because when tithing settlement came around the next year I had a lot more money than usual. Bishop Baird asked me how I earned so much money, and I replied "I lost a lot of teeth."
Not thatmom and pop the tooth fairy gave me $20 per tooth. More like $1 per tooth. But it added up!
My brother and sisters have all had their wisdom teeth out long ago. Well, Dot's came out just a year or two back, I think. Kate had hers out way back when she was living in the dorms at BYU and dating this HORRIBLY ugly guy named Nate (he was almost completely bald with a big lumpy nose and googly eyes. Believe me, I was relieved when Kate finally met Danny; Jane, you almost missed out on the cute gene). I remember this because Kate punched him in the face when she was high on painkillers- HAH! I don't remember when Joe got his out, but I think he was first.
I still haven't had mine removed, and guess what?? It's coming back to haunt me! Think, if you will, of the absolute WORST time for my wisdom teeth to come in. I'd say right about now; I'm in my third trimester of pregnancy, I graduate from college in two weeks, I work 40 hour weeks, my sister's getting married in three weeks at which point I will be traveling across the country, I have a baby shower scheduled on the same trip as well as one in a couple weeks when I graduate, I have to take a final exam for my french incomplete, and I have no dental insurance and no money. Oh, did I mention that I'm PREGNANT??
I can't have a swollen face because so many people are going to be taking my picture soon! Can you imagine being immortalized in wedding albums and scrapbook pages and graduation photos and family newsletters with a lump the size of a grapefruit on your face?????? Golly, my belly is swollen enough, do my cheeks have to join in, too? And how am I supposed to get my wisdom teeth out without an anesthetic? Don't tell me that the pain will help prepare me for childbirth because I seriously don't want to hear it.
Maybe I can just wait until afterward. Yech. I don't like that idea either. Maybe the pain will magically disappear for five months. Only one of my wisdom teeth hurt. The other three aren't even coming in yet. Here's a picture I drew of the sordid situation:
Don't ask me how long it took me to draw this. I refuse to answer that question. Also please don't comment on how ugly my mouth is. I happen to know that very few people have gorgeous mouths when viewed from this perspective.
**Note** My teeth are sadly not this white in real life.
I lost the majority of my teeth when I was in 5th and 6th grade. Sure, I lost my first in kindergarten, and I had the whole front-tooth gap when I was seven or eight, but the rest of them took their sweet time (no pun intended, especially since if it were intended it would be a really lame pun). I remember this not only because I vividly recall having to ask Mr Knapik if I could be excused from class to get a drink of water and rinse out my mouth on several occasions, but also because when tithing settlement came around the next year I had a lot more money than usual. Bishop Baird asked me how I earned so much money, and I replied "I lost a lot of teeth."
Not that
My brother and sisters have all had their wisdom teeth out long ago. Well, Dot's came out just a year or two back, I think. Kate had hers out way back when she was living in the dorms at BYU and dating this HORRIBLY ugly guy named Nate (he was almost completely bald with a big lumpy nose and googly eyes. Believe me, I was relieved when Kate finally met Danny; Jane, you almost missed out on the cute gene). I remember this because Kate punched him in the face when she was high on painkillers- HAH! I don't remember when Joe got his out, but I think he was first.
I still haven't had mine removed, and guess what?? It's coming back to haunt me! Think, if you will, of the absolute WORST time for my wisdom teeth to come in. I'd say right about now; I'm in my third trimester of pregnancy, I graduate from college in two weeks, I work 40 hour weeks, my sister's getting married in three weeks at which point I will be traveling across the country, I have a baby shower scheduled on the same trip as well as one in a couple weeks when I graduate, I have to take a final exam for my french incomplete, and I have no dental insurance and no money. Oh, did I mention that I'm PREGNANT??
I can't have a swollen face because so many people are going to be taking my picture soon! Can you imagine being immortalized in wedding albums and scrapbook pages and graduation photos and family newsletters with a lump the size of a grapefruit on your face?????? Golly, my belly is swollen enough, do my cheeks have to join in, too? And how am I supposed to get my wisdom teeth out without an anesthetic? Don't tell me that the pain will help prepare me for childbirth because I seriously don't want to hear it.
Maybe I can just wait until afterward. Yech. I don't like that idea either. Maybe the pain will magically disappear for five months. Only one of my wisdom teeth hurt. The other three aren't even coming in yet. Here's a picture I drew of the sordid situation:
Don't ask me how long it took me to draw this. I refuse to answer that question. Also please don't comment on how ugly my mouth is. I happen to know that very few people have gorgeous mouths when viewed from this perspective.
**Note** My teeth are sadly not this white in real life.
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